hellooo.

I feel like we need to get reacquainted.  It's been a while.  How's it going?  I'm doing better than I have been in a while.  The end of 2011 was a nice beginning of something new for us.  J picked up a side job thanks to an old friend.  He's what they call a casual employee, but has been able to work as much as he's wanted.  He's been working between 60-90 hours combined.  I'm not sure what his exact title is - he's I think a sourcing specialist, supporting recruiters for a large energy job sourcing company - something like that.  Basically he calls people all day, screening everybody from coal workers, pipe cleaners (for real), and nuclear engineers from all over the world - to see if they are good candidates for open positions.  He loves it.  I'm glad.  He's still working from home, but we are actively seeking an office space for him to work bi-vocationally out of.  Hopefully by March he'll be out.  yay :)  I've loved having him home, but it will be nice for us all to have our space.  It's awfully hard for him to call candidates with a mini-zoo in the background!  Funny enough, our kids can be running around the place and sound like a herd of elephants, but it's the birds they hear.  Weird huh?

So, yeah, Jeremy's bi-vocational again, but we feel very at peace with things.  If you would have told us that even six months ago, we would've been like, "um no, i think we're done."  But this has obviously been a God opportunity.  To be honest, last year completely sucked like no other.  We weren't quite sure we were going to make it to 2012 in one piece. So for the holidays to approach, which often like it or not doubles the stress of tired, financially strapped parents, and then have this job float down in front of us like a silver parachute (for you Suzy ;) - it was a true help for the weary!  We were able to breathe a sigh of relief.  See a light at the end of the tunnel.  Pay our bills, decorate the house and buy gifts even.  By the end of the year, we were able to look around us, and although exhausted and still nursing some wounds, see that we still have all that matters.  No matter what fires may come, we come through stronger.  The chaff and dirt long gone.

January has been a month of discussion, healing, refocusing and optimism.  We don't know what 2012 we'll bring, but we do know that we we'll be here to push back the darkness.  We'll meet one more person and take that scary risk again and again.  It's that terrifying realization that danger is inherent in who we are and what we do.  To be us, we'll be open and authentic and honestly imperfect.  To do what we do, we'll let people in.  We'll trust, love, and share our most precious possessions - our hearts, our family, our time, our home...  Honestly, the thought can make me a little queasy, especially when I think of past heart-breakers.  Ah well, this hearts gotta be good for at least another round. 

This last year we were so close to giving up.  Like Atreyu in the swamps.  Like my favorite otr song, Latter Days.  I coined a new phrase by the year's end: "the purple preacher eaters."  The idea of wolves in sheep's clothing is terrifying when you experience it.  Picture yourself on a peaceful hillside with your prized lamb sitting on your lap, and a sheep-turned-wolf trying to tear it apart in front of you.  Not cool.  Yeah well, we didn't give up.  realHope is still here.  God has protected it and will continue to.  And we're happy and grateful.

More changes are around the bend, I'll keep you posted.  Glad we caught up ;)  Much love across the miles.