hanging up my hat

where to start? where to start? I've thought of blogging plenty of times, but the prospect of writing anything worth reading has seemed too daunting for the longest time. Besides the new challenge of getting to my computer which is constantly guarded by a two-year old computer nazi! (Seriously not kidding. More on that in a separate post.)

The past several months have been another adjustment to change. After working at Starbuck's for 10 months I decided to quit. Jeremy and I had had quite a few conversations about the possibility of me quitting. When I got the job - I needed it and we needed it. I needed some time and space or I was going to lose my mind. Luke started kindergarten, I'd been a stay-at-home mom for five years, my daughter was two, and I needed to find myself again. Identity crisis.
I absolutely loved working there. I loved being good at something other than being a wife and a mom. It was something separate, something that was just mine. New people got to know me as Christie, not just Jeremy's wife or Luke and Julianne's mommy. I'd forgotten what that felt like. I had a suspicion, but soon realized how much of me I'd forgotten or put aside. I loved most getting to know new people - real people of all different ages and backgrounds - ugly sides and the good parts. I loved being a positive influence in the work environment, just by being hard-working and consistent - it was a great working lesson of how far authenticity and kindness go with people. Just proves what I've always known to be true - everyone needs a little love, some hope and a chance - most people just want to be seen (regardless of how tough or horrible or different they may seem at first). I became the pastry case queen. My coworkers raved that I could set up and maintain a mean pastry case. I became a master closer, every night sweaty after a job well done. And I loved working the front - greeting customers and getting to know regulars - serving coffee all day sounds good to me!

Too bad there was a downside. After 10 months of being a closer - often five nights a week - I was beat and our family was beat. I worked through several holidays, and Jeremy felt very much like a single parent. Luke would cry when I had to go to work and the house was a losing battle. Jeremy left the decision up to me, he wasn't going to ask me to quit because he knew that I loved the job. But I also knew what it was costing our family and I finally came to a peace about it where I knew it was the right decision. I was ready to stop the madness - realizing that I'd done well, accomplished what I needed to (relationships and finding more of myself again) and I could always come back down the road (maybe when Julianne goes to kindergarten).

Best decision! Over the past several months I've been turning the Titanic around so to speak. Not that Jeremy didn't hold down the fort amazing well. He did! He was super dad. He did all of the cooking that was done, helped Luke with homework, kept them on a schedule, visited me at work all while leading realHope. whew! it makes me tired just writing part of what all he did. That being said, there was still plenty of chaos to sort out. A new family schedule to put in place. The kids have LOVED it. I've loved getting to help teach Luke to read and being more involved in his schooling. I love having dinner together. Now if we could just get that date night we'd be golden! :)